Gene Spermo is a dealer who specializes in acquiring rare and delicious treats from State and County Fairs around the Northeast. The Fair circuit makes for an exhaustive summer each year but the satisfaction writ large on his clients’ faces when he presents them with their elaborate and incredibly unhealthy funnel cakes and chicken-fried deep-fried sticks of butter makes it worthwhile, along with the inflated fees he charges them of course.
As he is preparing to venture to upstate NY for their Fair the last week in August he receives a last-minute request from wealthy eccentric Morris Moroccan to try and hunt down a dish rumored to be sold there- an exotic Turducken-esque combination of kangaroo testicles wrapped inside of alligator tail meat stuffed inside of a bald eagle breast and seasoned with the tears of the miniature goats from the Fair’s petting zoo. Gene has never come across such a creation in his years of work, but Morris assures him this fabled Alliroogle is sold at a kiosk behind the Tenth Gate entryway to the fairgrounds and that he will be rewarded handsomely for his efforts.
As Gene arrives he is dismayed to find that the gated entries stop at Gate 9, and he calls Morris to congratulate him on a successful prank. “This is not a ruse Mr. Spermo!” Morris says before telling him to ask after the Tenth Gate with some of the older security guards working the event.
Still thinking he is being trolled Gene begins grabbing the other items he was asked to procure for clients, and as he is navigating the area he happens to come across a very aged guard resting on a bench. “What the hell,” he figures, sits next to the gentleman, and after saying pardon for the interruption asks if there was ever a Tenth Gate there. The guard flinches for a moment before telling Gene that there was indeed, before recounting the story of how 50 years earlier a grease fire started at one of the food stalls there and quickly swept through the western part of the grounds. As fairgoers tried to flee through the gate it had mysteriously closed, and despite dozens of people pushing against it to try and pry it open it hadn’t budged. 77 patrons burned to death, the heat and flames were so intense that the ones pressed against the gate itself had fused together with the scalding metal.
“It was as if the Devil himself was at the Fair that day,” the guard finishes solemnly. “Also there had been a Chubby Checker concert that afternoon as well. Darkest day in the Fair’s history. We had to shut down for the remainder of the schedule.”
Shocked, Gene expresses his sympathy for the victims and that he understands why they would not reopen the Tenth Gate after such a tragedy.
“Well they tried,” the guard replies, “the gate itself was in fine condition save for the melted flesh all over it. No one would go near it though. The church groups wanted it to be blessed and then dropped to the bottom of the lake here.”
“Is that what ended up happening?
“The mayor at the time paid lip service that that was the case, but he ended up sending it to the foundry to be melted down. Most of it was used to build the Ferris wheel over there next to the Alliroogle stand.”
Feeling as if the ground had been pulled out from under him Gene thanks the guard and uneasily begins heading towards the Ferris Wheel. As he nears the food stall he discovers his voice cracking as he ask the proprietor for an Alliroogle.
“Sure is a hot one today eh?” the man behind the counter says, and as he turns around Gene’s stomach drops as he see it is Morris. In the distance music begins playing, and Gene can just make out that is “Let’s Twist Again”. Morris smiles, revealing a fanged grin before adding “and it’s about to get even hotter!”