People be flabby. Between COVID, delicious corn-forward snacks, and Netflix’s unassailable algorithm Americans keep getting chonkier. Ozempic helps, but what do the uninsured and college students do? When John Mons realizes that his FitBit counter has exceed his daily activity after a particularly boisterous sexcapade he strikes upon an idea. What if you could get good, clean exercise without having a pesky relationship get in the way? Basically, John builds an Eyes Wide Shut-esque orgy palace, complete with monthly fees. And while business booms, the local department of health grows concerned about the sanitary nature of the business while the local churches are concerned about its moral failings. What started as a sex farce quickly turns into a gripping legal drama about personal freedom, one’s relationship with god, and a herpes simplex 1 outbreak. So, strap on your Apple Watch…and any other items you deem appropriate as Anthrax’s Scott Ian directs based on a script by Shonda Rhimes.