What do Steven Tyler, Sigmund Freud, and Carrot Top all have in common? They’re part of a fraternity of celebrities who also double as cocaine enthusiasts! Cocaine boosts your metabolism, makes you more interesting, and increases your appeal to young women with daddy issues. So, when Gabe Taylor is tired of living life on the sidelines he decides to hitch a ride on the rail, purchasing an eighth from a local scumbag. Soon, Gabe is whisked into a magical world of car chases and gym-aggression.
Things really take a turn for the weird when his last bump causes him to gain magic powers: super speed, super strength, and flight. Gabe starts by hassling local shopkeepers, putting kittens into trees, stopping old ladies from blocking traffic before eventually working his way to fighting corporate corruption before finally facing his greatest foe: intervention followed by rehab. Can Gabe survive without the monkey on his back? Does he even want to? No, he can’t and no. He doesn’t want to. But don’t let that stop you from wasting 90 minutes on this “lost” Joe Eszterhas script.
A mid-credits stinger reveals it was an extended salvia trip all along.