Return to the olde western days with us as we imagine a brothel in a boomtown populated entirely by Bigfoot women! Colorful cattle rustlers and gunslingers all clamber to Madam Xaveria’s House of Leisure, the “rootinest, tootinest bordello in the Territories” to wet their whistles and their willies. None of the clientele seem to notice that the women are all covered in thick hair and smell of the dank swamps of Dagobah. Or that they don’t speak intelligible words, assuming it to be some exotic language like French or Chinese or even English. In fact plenty of the customers professed undying love to the “ladies” and returned week after week showering them with gifts of perfume and straight razors, which were conveniently sold in the lounge area.
You might ask who would be behind such a dastardly scheme? None other than a young P. T. Barnum. The P stands for Pimp, by the way. It was during this phase of his life that he began using the phrase “There’s a sucker born every minute.”
Though in those days he said “How stupid can these toothless yokels be? Can’t they see that these whores are not human?” Which doesn’t really roll off the tongue.
Now does it?