Kobra Caillou

Ever wonder what happens when you push a bald little Canadian boy just a little too far? Well wonder no longer in this live-action educational film that’s part Taxi Driver, part Enter the Dragon and part, well, Caillou. Learn important lessons about friendship with each graphically choreographed shiv to the gut. Be reminded about the virtues of sharing as the body count relentlessly rises. And see why you should communicate honestly with your parents as our hero warns the cops that they’ll never take him alive. We sort of hope this one doesn’t overperform at the box office, because we’d have to get reeeeeeaaaalll creative writing the sequel.