Down to the (Cheese)Wire

After decades of somehow eking out a career as “Roastmaster General”, the man who resembles a Muppet cruelly given human flesh, Jeff Ross, has finally gone too far with a massage parlor joke at Robert Kraft’s expense.

A thriller in the vein of Uncut Gems, this picture follows the anguish-laden mental breakdown of Ross as he contends with the fallout of offending the wrong man at Tom Brady’s celebrity roast. A vaguely threatening message is left outside his hotel room alongside a pack of Kraft singles. Is his car being tailed as he heads to LAX? Why is his flight being diverted to Wisconsin, land of cheese? By the end of Act 2 when he is ambushed and brought to a derelict cheese factory the grim realization that a man who has made his career around taking the piss out of everyone has no one to turn to in his most desperate hour becomes clear, and Ross has only two options before him. Either hope that his assailants are big fans of his latest movie, Ricky Stanicky, or that by roasting Kraft’s competitors Cabot and Tillamook he can curry favor and reverse his fortune. But likely he’ll just be made into a big, lumpy brick of Velveeta.