Sometimes it’s good to step back and remember your roots. Like so many before us, we assumed that entering a few sloppy pitches in a predatory film studio’s pitch contest would be a certain ticket to fame and fortune. After all, how could a studio whose financial strategy revolves around exploiting language barriers to fill seats in foreign markets let us down? So in the spirit of the old days, here’s Starred Wars. A space operetta about a young harvester named Lucas Skystroller, who gets caught up in a galactic civil war to defeat the evil Galactic Authority. With the help of an old space monk named Opey Juan Cannoppi, Lucas learns to use space magic, rescue a kidnapped daughter of a space king, and make friends with a few robots. The poster and Legal will be doing more heavy lifting than the script does. And after writing that, we’re realizing that sometimes forgetting your roots might not be such a bad idea.