Take a trip back to the 1800s and relive the first cereal wars, set across the backdrop of the Industrial Revolution. C.W. Post, an enterprising young food scientist struggles valiantly to develop a breakfast cereal that cures appendicitis. No sooner does he solves the dairy-matrix, when his “best friend,” and head of the Battle Creek Sanitarium, has him committed. That’s right, John Harvey Kellogg, brother of Will Keith Kellogg, is the head of the Sanitarium. Now, did John have C.W. committed just to steal his recipes? History and Wikipedia would tell you no, but, what if he did? All we do know is that Kellogg and Post both brought similar cereals to market around the same time and that Post was a guest of the Sanatarium: Kellogg’s had Kellogg’s Caramel Coffee Cereal, Cornflakes, and Malted Nuts while Post sold Postum, Toasties, and Grape Nuts.
Regardless, in our retelling of the tale C.W. escapes the sanatarium and tries to catch up with the Kellogg machine that may or may not have swiped his recipes. Broken down, and eventually learning that Grape Nuts does not cure his lifelong stomach illness, Post commits suicide. Or, is that what Kellogg want’s you to believe? We’re just asking questions.
Taking some liberties with the story — but not as many as you’d think, Post Something is the Unfrosted/Tucker Carlson crossover you didn’t need.