While WWE’s Vince McMahon has long been a ghoulish figurehead of the organization and has been accused numerous times of being a bloodsucker, this April the world is about to find out the truth- he’s an actual vampire. Having cut a deal with an Elder Vampire in the run-up to the first Wrestlemania Vince was promised 40 years of riches and success for his company in exchange for 50,000 human blood bags, and next month his payment is due.
It will be a live event not too dissimilar from any other Wrestlemania save for the fact that it will be shown on the big screen and the screaming throngs of wrestling fans won’t just be shouting for their favorite Superstars but for their very lives and souls as the McMahons and their gang of heel wrestler vampires attack the unsuspecting attendees.
You’ll thrill as HHH rebrands himself as “Vampire Hunter” Hearst Helmsley and tries to stick it to his father-in-law after years of being under his thumb. You’ll gasp as the competitors trying to actually wrestle take in the chaos around them and ask if it’s a shoot or a work. And you’ll roll your eyes at branding tie-ins like Philly Cheesestake sandwiches because Vince can’t submit to being an Elder Vampire’s thrall for eternity without squeezing every last dime out of the event first.