The Fashion of the Christ

It’s not a coincidence that Fashion Week in NYC happens just before the start of Lent each year, and now there is a motion picture to prove that these two great tastes taste great together. Underwear model/actor?/celebrity Catholic Mark Wahlberg electrifies in a dynamic dual role he has been desperate to play- first as fashion designer and supermodel Jesús, then as actual Jesus of Nazareth.

The story begins as Jesús is revealing his new line at an open-air gala in Central Park. Storm clouds threaten a reschedule, but Jesús is bullish that thunder and lightning will only add to to magnificence of his new look. The weather holds until the very end of the show, and as Jesús is taking his bows a lightning strike to the catwalk seemingly vaporizes him in front of the crowd but magically sends him back to where he is needed most- ancient Jerusalem during the Last Supper.

Can Jesús zazz up Jesus and the apostles’ look in time for the big crucifixion? Will the course of human and fashion history be forever altered by this interloper? Will we get to see Mr. Wahlberg leave it all on the screen exclaiming “Fathah! Fathah! Why’d you forsakening me?” in the third act? You better believe He is Rizzin’ this Easter!