I’d like to thank my esteemed colleagues, Chad Pitchington, Uncle Muffin, and Captain Popetastic, for allowing me to contribute garbage to this otherwise clever and well-planned adventure in daily pitchmanship. I must confess that when times got tough for me (all times), I relied on my assistant (AI) to write nonsensical blather so that I might seem prolific and urbane. It was as if I was in tune with the zeitgeist and riffing on the cultural and geopolitical happenings that deserved my attention. You can see the results of that endeavor here: pure codswallop. I relied heavily on the genius of Glen Danzig to sustain my early pitches. To him, I apologize profusely. Once, in desperation, I even threatened to have my mom shoot him. I also relied on the collective insanity known as the MAGA. Now that you ultimately control the free world, I ask your forgiveness. Spare me the reeducation camp, for I am beyond reeducation. And to Ayn Rand, wherever she is (Hell), I apologize for besmirching the legacy of your teachings, as it is evident that her “Me First, and Second.” philosophy has won the day. Still, most of all, I’d like to apologize to you, dear reader. You who have endured this experiment and most likely come out less ok than 365 days ago. So, in the words of Mr. Mojo Risin, James Douglas Morrison:
This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end
Of our elaborate plans, the end
Of everything that stands, the end
No safety or surprise, the end
I'll never look into your eyes again