Willie Mays stumbling around centerfield for the Mets. Mike Tyson turtling in his final fight with Jake Paul, Eric in Syracuse, wasting away as he fruitlessly tries to stave off family and work obligations. They say Father Time is undefeated, but then again, Father Time has never squared off against Donald John Trump. Virile. Strategic. Compassionate. Trump is one of those things. When you think he’s playing 4D Chess, he’s really been playing 6D Parcheesi, and he’s got a plan to fight Father Time, literally.
The reason Trump moved near Miami wasn’t because he liked Jewish people, no it was because he had found the actual Fountain of Youth. Located on the Mar-a-Lago grounds, Trump is cornering the market. For a small investment in his latest cryptocurrency scam, you too can suckle a little of the life giving mana (to be renamed Trump Juice).
Is this a pitch? Well let’s throw in some Muslim adversaries who raid Mar-a-Lago and Trump somehow has to beat them back so Laura Loomer can post some ridiculous AI generated picture of him rustling cattle or wrangling a hurricane barehanded. The road to hell is paved with gold intentions in this pitch that might actually be something Trump attempts.