Master of Pitches

After seeking out and destroying all known superheroes, the Outlaw Torn sets his site on the Monsters of Rock – Metallica. They’ve called on Ktulu, entered the Sandman’s lair, and drank whiskey from a jar all in the pursuit of face melting guitar-licks and crazed drum solo baby-eating faces*. James Hetfield leads a battery of soldiers into war fighting for a day that may never come. This harvester of sorrow leads a ragtag group of disposable heroes of the day to defeat the enemy within while fighting for rock, truth…and justice for all. Will the four horsemen rain down terror wherever they may roam? What is the sad but true secret the leper messiah is hiding? How many more song related title plot points can we come up with? You won’t be forgiven if you miss next summer’s second-most Metallica adjacent project. Nothing else matters in your life as the screen fades to black and you succumb to the frayed ends of sanity.

* Come on, Lars totally looks like he’s craving a baby-sandwich every time he shreds on the drums.