Princess Leia's "Other" Other Buns

With half the galaxy on an interstellar goose chase spurred by Princess Leia’s hidden recipe map, she has the time to complete her grand gambit. After one of her hacked Imperial probe droids picks up a transmission emanating out of a black hole, she is stunned to find it is a video signal from some distant planet and time- a strange military training video called “Buns of Steel”. Though the physical regimen displayed in the video is nothing like the training routines employed in rebel camps, the notion of having blaster-proof posteriors is too enticing. A truly caring leader, she wants to lose no more of her people to errant Stormtrooper ass shots, and so a mandate that every man woman and child begin reinforcing their glutes is enacted. And they’re going to need it- after the Imperial forces discover Leia’s map leads only to a chest of old Mustafarian rice pudding they are hungry for something else besides Spice Buns- revenge! Will the training turn the mushy tushies into super dupas in time? Probably not- but who hasn’t always dreamed of watching vaguely sexualized anthropomorphic aliens work out in leotards and sweat bands for a couple of hours?