Having to answer to a public fed up with the use of excessive force and brutal methods, police departments need to evolve. It’s time for a new type of police officer- one who observes, listens, and is incapable of inflicting physical harm. Millions of dollars of research led to a prototype cop that fits the bill- an officer made entirely of soft, harmless goose feathers. Why go through with robbing that store when you can cuddle up with a soft and comforting civil servant and catch some ZZZs! Hey, it’s as good as any solution commander law and order has spewed.