Dial P for Abduction

It's a matter of life and death.  The love of his life has been kidnapped, and Evandro has one chance to save her.  He’s cobbled together the ransom.  All that’s left is to text his captors for directions.  Tap…tap…tap…SEND!  But as the clock hits zero there’s still no reply with instructions for the exchange.  Horror sets in as Evandro realizes he texted his local pizza parlor by mistake!  Can Evandro make things right and stage a daring rescue before his unexpected but still welcomed pie gets cold?  We hope so, but more importantly can we sign Natalie Portman for the role that has literally 2 lines?  Our marketing strategy counts on it.