The trope of the holiday thriller with an unhinged person posing as Santa Claus has been done repeatedly over the years to varying degrees. This is another one, but stepping into the boots of Father Christmas this time is none other than Pitch a Day stalwart Nic Cage, fresh off “Lowering Arizona” and ready to go full Kringle. Old Saint Nic stars as Nick, a down on his luck divorced father who is trying to earn some extra holiday cash by dressing up as Santa and visiting the local doggie day cares to take photos with pooches. After a particularly excited St. Bernard catches him off guard he hits his head on a counter and is knocked unconscious, and upon coming to he discovers he is able to understand the dogs’ ceaseless barking. They are warning him of an impending alien invasion that is taking place in plain sight, the aliens posing as elves to sow discord during the holidays culminating in the rebirth of their alien leader via a human host on Christmas to subjugate the planet. After being directed to seek out Chester, a squirrelly mutt who has been tracking the alien’s movements, Nick learns that the chosen host is none other than his son, Kal-el, and soon the race is on to get to his estranged son to try and stop the ritual. When his ex-wife answers the door late on Christmas Eve to find Nick panting and covered in blood with several decapitated elf heads dangling from his Santa suit she exclaims “Not again!” But when he starts talking of an alien invasion centered on their son, it’s a bridge too far, and all her firearm training and Krav Maga classes are about to pay off. Now Nick must somehow stave off the alien invaders and survive his ex-wife’s attacks to save his son, our world, and our holiday spirit, all in 87 minutes of cinematic fuckery.