Now That’s a Christ I Can Get Behind

When the trumpets sounded and Paula White called down angels from Africa to deliver Trump a victory, Jesus was shaken from his slumber and headed the call. But, this isn’t your genial turn-the-other cheek, Davey and Goliath Christ. No, this is a battle hardened, angry Christ called down by Trump’s evangelical vampires. And he is pissed. Murdered babies. Science over faith. Voter fraud. He’s had enough, and he’s going to bring holy war to the land of fire. He’ll lead a regiment of the damned to retake America for the one true king — the Presiednt-in-exile; Donald J. Trump. And when victory in America has been delivered, even Jesus will prostrate himself before Trump as he abolishes the second commandment and sets his eternal gaze on conquering the rest of the savages. Rudy Giuliani costars as the living embodiment of death in this 700 Club produced documentary.