It’s October, so that means you can expect some horror-adjacent pitches scattered into our regular nonsense. We kick things off with a mashup that would have felt dated in 2010, and now is – what they kids call, charmingly retro…
Thanks to synthetic alternatives for blood, vampires have made themselves known to the normies of the world. Their arrival emboldens the other creatures of the night – Zombies, Owlbears, Beholders, Weregiraffes, and Jersey Swamp Monsters, to reveal themselves. Follow one ancient vampire on his quest to understand the modern world by going to one of the worst places in America; New Jersey, and falling in love with a townie with conveniently undefinable “powers” that he ends up exploiting. Is she a fairy? A brujas? A Japanese fox spirit? We don’t know! But it really doesn’t matter. All that matters is that it is sexy and vapid like the source material, and a mildly racist courtly Southern vampire brays “Snooookie” at a vaguely female troll every few minutes.