MUSIC CUE: "Die Fahne Hoch" by Horst Wessel
FADE IN: OPENING CRAWL
Global Pandemic!
The world is gripped by the unprecedented events of COVID-19, and one man will use that cover to perpetuate active military aggression. A man, whose mission it is to walk further than he’s ever walked before without causing his bone spurs to flare up, and awkwardly hold up a sacred text for a photo op. One hero will emerge from the tear gas like Luke from salt clouds on Crait after the first order shoots at a hologram for five minutes. Mark Hamill can bring our torn nation together, just as he healed a galaxy far, far away
FADE OUT.
In this melodramatic action/comedy, Mark uses overly complicated multisyllable words like sesquipedalian and vegetable to scare President bunkerboy back to his bunker for “further inspection” while single handedly making the most delicious Mac and Cheese humankind has ever eaten.