While dabbling in the Dark Arts for the Winter Solstice, little Jimmy accidentally knocks over some ceremonial candles burning his home down and killing his parents. Distraught and alone for the holidays, Little Jimmy finds his way to the town’s bridge with the intent of throwing himself into the freezing current. But, just as he is about to take the final plunge into the dark waste, he is visited by his guardian rebel angel, Glen Danzig. Jimmy’s ceremony WAS a success and; unbeknownst to him, he called forth Danzig. Now it’s up to Danzig to show him how much better everyone’s life would be without him in it — and how miserable he can make his family and friends by running out the clock on his life and sticking around. Danzig croons his way through holiday classics like I’ll be Dead for Christmas, Rudolph the Punch-drunk Reindeer, and The Twelve Plagues of Christmas. In the end, Danzig shows Jimmy the true meaning of the holiday season: consumerism and depression tempered by seasonal drug abuse. It’s the newest holiday classic brought to you by Shudder.